Recently, my husband returned from the mailbox with an envelope from the March of Dimes. Curiously, enclosed he found an actual dime. I started thinking. How many people did the March of Dimes send fundraising letters to? And did they enclose a dime in every single one? And who was the poor soul who had to collect all of the said dimes to mail out? Let’s imagine the March of Dimes, whose cause I support, (not financially, just philosophically) sent letters to six million Americans. Forgive me for not providing the math here (I’m sure most of you just did it yourself), but that’s a lot of dollars. Dollars that could be spent on research and education. How ironic is it to ask people to donate to your cause (I’m not knocking it, I’m just trying to provide some logic here), and then send THEM money?! (which, by the way, I’m sure wasn’t cheap to mail!) March of [lots of] Dimes: just keep your dimes. Better yet, keep your dollars. Don’t exchange them for dimes in the first place. Though, I guess you do deserve a thank you. I just put the dime in Lincoln’s piggy bank. I guess all that’s left now is to ask: Did you receive the same envelope from March of Dimes? And did you keep the dime?
P.S. While googling an image of the dime, Google autopopulated “dimebag Darrell”. I have no idea who this is, but maybe my next blog entry will feature him. Don’t count on it, though. (I bet you’re going to Google “dimebag Darrell” now. Go ahead. Get it out of your system.)
In conversations with others, on television, and in eavesdropping on others, you can almost always hear someone say the phrase “trials and tribulations”. Most people can’t even spell tribulation, much less define it. Not to mention, it’s one of the most cliché phrases a person can add to his or her repertoire. Please, for the love of all things literary and intelligent, please stop saying trials AND tribulations. Just pick one! If you don’t, and you continue to use the two in conjunction with each other, you’ll end up sounding like an R&B singer from the 90s, who most certainly thinks it’s him “against the world.” And we all know we don’t need one more R&B singer from the 90s.
I’m convinced that the past-time known as “the Sunday drive”, where folks would pile into their vehicles and drive to the outskirts of town, was made popular by moms. Moms who interrupted baby naps to get said babies to church on time. And to keep them up during church because there isn’t anywhere for them to go to sleep. Moms who drove 25 minutes to church when baby’s waketime window is approximately an hour, INCLUDING nursing. It’s no wonder families forewent big Sunday lunches and long, Sunday naps. No. Because when baby isn’t happy, no one’s happy. Whoever said the similar phrase “If Momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy” never had a 4-month old. And he or she probably never had a grammar lesson either.
Anyway, happy Sunday folks. I hope you all enjoyed your Sunday spread followed by a nice, restful snooze. We drove to Roanoke and back. And then to Charlottesville. But no one has to know all that.
Let’s say you’re the CEO of a popular chain of sit-down restaurants and you need a new advertising campaign. Think television show “The Pitch”. If you haven’t seen it, you must. I love this show. Here’s the premise: Company is headed toward bankruptcy. (I don’t know that this is entirely true, but go with me.) Sales are in the ditch. (Again, I have no way of knowing if there’s any truth to this statement.) Marketing needs revamping. CEO of company contacts multiple PR firms who spend a week putting together a campaign. At the end, one team who has completely ignored every other task, client, duty and who has temporarily neglected their entire families ends up being brutally disappointed when the CEO chooses the other team. My kinda show. Let’s say the popular chain of restaurants I mentioned above is Applebee’s. We all know Applebee’s sucks. They were popular about 10 years ago, but they can’t begin to compete with places like Outback (I think they suck too), Texas Roadhouse (I love their chicken critter salad, but hate country music and haphazard peanut shells), and Chilis (their bottomless chips make my heart smile). Even more significant, they can’t compete with local places that boast fresh ingredients and cool atmospheres. But, Applebee’s has to increase sales. So what do they do? Contact the producers of “The Pitch”? No, but I have to assume something similar took place when they came out with the new slogan “See you tomorrow.” Immediately upon seeing their commercial, I thought to myself “If what they’re selling is so good, why would I wait until tomorrow..? I mean, why can’t I come today? Like, right now?” Maybe Applebee’s doesn’t want my business today. Maybe they’re just procrastinators. Maybe they’ve never heard the saying “Carpe diem”? Seize the day. Tomorrow..?
Applebee’s, all you had to do was change that one little word. Instead of “See you tomorrow”, you could yell, scream, bold, italics “See you tonight!” Emphasis intended. When you think I should wait until tomorrow to try your food, then I won’t make it today’s priority either. You may as well have said “See you..Never.” Try again Applebee’s. And do it soon. Before you end up on “The Pitch”.
I have a Pinterest account. We all do. But I don’t really understand 99.9% of people’s purposes for pinning. I’m a realist. If I pin a recipe, it’s because I intend to make it. If I pin a craft project, it’s because I intend to purchase said materials and make it. If I pin an outfit, it’s because I’m going to use it as pinspiration (<–you like that, don't you?) for something to wear. I log on to see house plans no one's purchasing, bracelets no one's buying, and makeup no one's wearing. These people are idealists. And this is what the world is made up of: a lot of people with a lot of pipe dreams they'll never accomplish because they're too busy with their heads in the clouds. That sounds so judgmental. But it's true.
My one beef with Pinterest (ok, if you add the above complaint, that makes two) is that people will post recipes and never update to say whether they made aforepinned recipe, whether it was yummy, time-consuming, expensive, etc. So one of the things I'm going to do here with this blog is to post recipes I've ACTUALLY made from Pinterest and tell you what I would change, add, leave out, or trash altogether.
The first recipe I'd like to rave about is the Creamy Tomato Tortellini Soup (see link below):
It's a creamier version of tomato soup with Italian herbs and spices, and we paired it with grilled cheeses off the griddle. You must make this! I simmered mine for about 6 hours (I did not add onion powder because, quite simply, I didn't have any), and ended up with a thicker, more hearty soup. If you want it brothy, you would not simmer it on low as long. The only thing I wish I would have added is Italian sausage or pulled chicken (But I didn't have those either). I'm not a meat and potatoes type-a-girl, but I found myself looking for a protein! I give this recipe a 4 out of 5 for taste, simplicity of the recipe, and for warming my bones on a record-low-temp, windy night. (And I’ll give you a little hint: sundried tomatoes are found in the produce section. My husband and I went ’round and ’round about the location of these little gems, and I must say he was right! That man knows his way around a grocery store!)
sidenote: little baby Lincoln has the flu. say a little prayer for him.
So I’ve been thinking about #mcm, which stands for “Man Candy (Crush) Monday”.. Lots of girls use this opportunity to post photos of their actual boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. I understand that you should totally “crush” on your husband, which I would do if I were fifteen to twenty years younger. (Isn’t that when the term “crush” was popular?) But, if we’re going to call it Man CANDY or Man CRUSH Monday, shouldn’t we all just be totally realistic and dare to dream? I mean, I’m married. Happily. But here goes.. Maybe if I start, others will follow. Stop posting pictures of your current beau. Stop being so boring and predictable. Here’s my #mcm. (My first AND last..)
**Disclaimer: My husband has seen this blog entry. No, he is not mad.
Hey folks! Or should I say folk? It’s entirely presumptuous to believe that more than one person has stopped by to take a gander..And that one person is likely me. But in the event that you’ve stopped by, welcome! I guess? Maybe you’re hoping to catch a glimpse of the train wreck that is me starting a blog since I’ve decided to delete my facebook account. Ok, that’s fair. In fact, I have no idea what html even stands for. BUT, alas! Here we are.. I’ve decided to delete my facebook page for a number of reasons. Mainly, the Lord has been speaking to me for quite some time about removing myself from the online social networking site, and I always justified my reasons for staying: “My posts typically have something to do with You.” “if I could just reach one person with my posts..” “I don’t post that many pictures of my son..” But God wasn’t letting me off the hook. I knew He was speaking to me about removing it from my life. Bummer! The things we do in the name of Jesus! 🙂 Not only that, but Facebook has the capacity to enrage and infuriate me, and make me feel deep, dark, stored-away emotions otherwise reserved for disappointing Project Runway outcomes. Something that has that much power over me can’t be productive (or godly!). And lastly, I figure a person can’t copy what they can’t see. I have my own ideas, my own way of doing things, and I like to be my own person. It feels like I’ve been robbed when someone comes after me and “steals” my brainchildren! I hope you all will stick around. I have no clue what this blog is even about. I guess it will depend on the day and what I feel like sharing. I hope I don’t disappoint you! if there’s even a “you” out there… 🙂 Below, you’ll find a list of things I WON’T miss seeing on Facebook:
1. Friend Requests from people I don’t know, used to know or don’t care to know anymore.
2. Sponsored ads. Is that because Facebook started trading publicly? Whatever the reason, it was annoying. Even more so when the ads were targeted. Like, when I googled new shoes for Matt for Christmas. And then, magically, Facebook had an ad for the exact same pair..
3. 356 status updates from the same person in one hour.
4. People who post lovey dovey statuses (I am guilty..HOWEVER!) but there’s nothing new or clever about them. It’s the same old “I’m so lucky..” or “He’s amazing, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me..” Please, please..if you’re going to swoon for the world to read, be creative. Or at least not cliché.
And last, but certainly not least:
5. SHARES. (with the exception of Ann Voskamp, Proverbs 31 Ministries, parenting blogs/articles, e-cards that actually made me laugh..ok, so I just really won’t miss the shares that don’t pertain to me..or the ones that have 1,343,565,423,432 likes because a cat nestled into a cereal box and everyone thinks it’s just “precious”..)
G’day friends. Thanks for stopping by!